Fair warning, neighbor: One day soon, I’m going to put on my Grinch costume, lash a stick to my dog’s head, and head to your house. And when I get there, I’m going to take down your darned Christmas wreath.
Really, folks. It’s spring. The sun is shining, and the snowbergs are melting. It’s well past time to undeck the halls, don’t you think?
I am no Scrooge. I love Christmas and all its fa-la-la. But by federal law, the time for Christmas cheer extends from the day after Thanksgiving till the weekend after New Year’s.
Okay, there’s no federal law to that effect. But maybe there ought to be.
For the record, I think that law, when enacted, should also apply to stores that put out their Christmas merchandise in July. Because, let’s face it: Nothing sucks the magic out of Christmas like seeing Santa in the summertime.
So, I’ll give you till the weekend, friends. Come Monday, you can kiss goodbye all those formerly festive elves, reindeer, icicle lights, and deflated inflatable snowmen that are still hanging around. Or how ’bout you save me and Max a trip and take them down now, yourself?
Happy April 1!